Neva Prepared © 2009 Rich & Flo Newman (BMI)

Daydreams - a pleasant hot shower
When psycho-scenes intrude on my peace

I think I see something move
Along the wainscoated ledge I spot a rather small head
It’s a garter snake - I can’t help but scream some
In this startled state - First impulse is - just run

Poor thing - it probably can’t take more
Lost like this on the second floor
Wet me - with socks on both my hands
Gingerly show him out the door

Girl scouts never prepared me for this
That my road would run wild and so crazily twist
When I strain to regain some control
My wheels start to spin dig me deep in some hole
Scouting never prepared me for this
No nothing ever prepared me for this - for this

College dorm - they’re showing a movie
Crowded room I find me some floor
Chair beside me some girl’s drinking beer
Not a warning got said
she leaned and heaved on my head
Through her drunken fog - she’s apologetic
That’s me speeding for the shower
This night’s not how I expected

Am I in some failing sitcom
Less than funny half the time
Are these stunts to raise the ratings
Am I screwing up my lines - screwing up my lines

Cause Daddy never prepared me ...

In the ship of our relations
You never once mentioned this before
I can’t believe what I hear - you say some trouble with the law
A couple kids you never saw
Your ex-wife’s got a lien on everything we own
And by the way “try not to freak out when they disconnect the phone.”

Momma never prepared me ...
Momma Never Prepared me No nothing ... Daddy ... School .... Scouting
Never prepared me for this

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